Scene Two:
Bouldering
An open patch of hilly ground, rocks scattered across it. In the center of the stage is a tremendous boulder—some 15ft squared, at least. The audience is presented with one side that mostly obscures the path the men climb on SR. The top must be solid enough for people to sit/stand there.
In the distance is a village of moderate size, nestled in the valley of two rocky crags. The buildings are in older styles, but there are cars parked beside them. It is sometime in the late 20th or early 21st century. A perfectly ordinary day.
The sounds of conversation approach, the voices of ULTAN and DERMOT. They enter from SR, carrying walking sticks and backpacks, supplies for bouldering—chalk for their hands, large foam crash pads, water. As they enter, their conversation becomes clearer.
ULTAN (offstage): So your mam’s not coming?
DERMOT (offstage): Nah. She hates the tropics. Da thinks she’s daft. So do I, tell the truth.
They become visible and cross toward the boulder, the object of their hike. When they reach it, they take off their backpacks and begin to set themselves up to climb the boulder.
ULTAN: Hates the tropics… Some women, hey?
DERMOT: Tell me ‘bout it.
ULTAN: (looking up at the boulder) Looks like a challenge.
DERMOT: Me cousin John says he took it in ten minutes last weekend. Wants me to time mine.
ULTAN: (without malice) John’s a lying git. Pass me the chalk.
The two men back up so they can see the whole of the boulder’s face. They chalk their hands while discussing the best route over the boulder; ad lib and fade to silence. Though their speech cannot be heard, their lips are seen moving, they nod, they point and gesture. Slowly light rises on the opposite side of the boulder from half-light to full. TITANIA rises from the grass, slowly and carefully moving forward until she is crouched on the other side of the boulder.
TITANIA: (aloud, to audience) There he is. . . The mortal who left his glove outside my door…
The IMPS peek out from behind the boulder, shaking their fingers at her. TITANIA sees them and swats them away.
TITANIA: All right, yes—whose glove you retrieved for me. (she takes out the climbing glove, looks between it and the man)
ULTAN: (looking through his bag) Damn. I forgot my new gloves.
TITANIA: (dismayed) New gloves?
DERMOT: What was wrong with the old ones? (pulling on his own)
ULTAN: I lost one.
DERMOT: That’s not a problem. Just climb one-handed.
ULTAN: Funny. Can I borrow yours?
DERMOT: Yeah, sure. When I’m done. (quick grin)
ULTAN: Urgh, and they’re all sweaty. Thanks, mate.
DERMOT: No problem.
DERMOT scouts his path again, his tools in place, and begins to climb. ULTAN stands back, watching and ready to help him if need be. TITANIA leans forward to peer around the boulder; drawing back quickly as DERMOT grunts.
ULTAN: Watch that bit o’dirt. Doesn’t look solid.
DERMOT: (straining) Aye…
TITANIA: (thinking aloud, the IMPS follow her moods) I could offer him the glove back… Say I found it… (she rises, then looks down at herself in her flowing gown) But what would he think of me? Would he recognize me as the Fey queen or just a crazed mortal? (her lips twist in a self-mocking smile)
ULTAN: You’re too far to the right.
DERMOT: Can’t go left.
ULTAN: You can, lift your hand just a bit more… aye, there.
IMPS: (together, echoing, whispering) 60 years at the most…
TITANIA: (spine stiffens, hearing them; she strides around the boulder) Ultan Keane.
ULTAN: (startled, jumps as though she had suddenly appeared from nowhere) What? Yes? I’m he.
TITANIA: I have something of yours.
ULTAN: …who are you? How do you know my name?
TITANIA: (holds out the glove to him) Your name is stitched into the lining.
ULTAN: (almost dazedly reaches for it) Oh… of course…
TITANIA: (fingers curl back to her with the loss of the glove) It was… left…
ULTAN: Aye… I thought I’d lost it.
DERMOT: Feck—I can’t reach ‘round this bump.
ULTAN: (distracted, pulled back to the moment) Bloody—reach, man!
DERMOT: Easy for you to say, down there on the ground!
ULTAN: Figure it out yourself! (turns back to Titania, clearly awed by her) Lady…
TITANIA: (steps toward him) I’m sorry to have distracted you…
ULTAN: No, no, it’s no bother, really! (stares at her for a long moment) Thank you for finding it.
TITANIA: It was no trouble.
The IMPS titter and hush instantly as TITANIA’s hand makes a swift, decisive motion.
ULTAN: (brain beginning to work again) I wasn’t anywhere near here when I lost it, though…
TITANIA: I live in this area. I like to take long walks.
ULTAN: Oh. You go all the way across the valley?
TITANIA: …yes. Not all at once. On different days.
ULTAN: And you… How did you know I was Ultan?
An excellent question, the IMPS lean forward to hear her explanation. TITANIA has to think quickly, but speaks smoothly, as though unperturbed.
TITANIA: I have a friend who pointed you out to me.
ULTAN: Really? Who? Someone from the village?
TITANIA: (hesitates) A little pixie told me.
The IMPS fall all over themselves in fits of silent giggles. ULTAN cannot see them.
ULTAN: (grins) The little birdie was out to tea, was he?
TITANIA: (unsure if he is laughing AT her) Yes.
ULTAN: Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean t’tease… Could I just have your name?
TITANIA: (hesitates a moment) Tiana.
Behind her, the IMPS notice something and disappear; they climb the boulder and meet DERMOT at the top where they are all visible. They stare at each other, the trio of children and the man.
ULTAN: Tiana… It suits yo—
DERMOT: Mary, mother of God! (he scrambles away from the IMPS)
The IMPS squeak and clamber down the far side, dashing to hide behind TITANIA’s skirts. She does not know what to do, but understands the moment she puts two and two together.
ULTAN: Dermot? Dermot! (he runs back around to try to see DERMOT)
DERMOT: There’s little ‘un’s up here! Bloody—kids!
ULTAN: Don’t be stupid—
DERMOT: I saw ‘em!
ULTAN: It’s not that high, Derm, the air’s not thin enough to start hallucinating!
DERMOT: I’m not imagining things!
TITANIA: I should go.
TITANIA grasps an IMP’s ear in each hand and appears to melt away with them, striding off SL as the lights fade on that side of the stage.
ULTAN: What? No—Tiana, please…
DERMOT: Feck this, I’m coming down!
ULTAN: Would you hold still, you bloody git! Tiana! Tiana? (stares at the place she was, dumbstruck)
DERMOT: (making his way back down) Who’re you shouting at? Help me!
ULTAN shakes himself as though from a dream and goes to do so as the lights fade.
END SCENE.
The complete For Love of the Queen is available as a formatted script for productions. To request permission for use, email richenda@richendagould.com